The Brief
Stupid product suggestion time – this one going out to Walkers Crisps.
The Loony Letter
Hi!
I just thought I’d write to you to tell you that I think your crisps are really ace – especially the Marmite flavoured ones.
I’ll continue to be a happy customer so long as you don’t take the Marmite crisps off the market – in which case I wouldn’t be a happy customer. I wouldn’t be an unhappy customer either. I wouldn’t be a customer at all, in fact.
On the subject of funny flavoured crisps, had you thought of Hellmann’s Mayonnaise flavoured crisps? I love Hellmann’s Mayonnaise with a passion – I’m sure it would taste superb.
Yours sincerely,
Bill Bennett
The Reply
Dear Mr Bennett
Thank you for your recent enquiry regarding Walkers Marmite Flavour Crisps.
We take every care and pride ourselves in ensuring our products reach our customers in perfect condition and we are always delighted to hear from people, like yourself, who really appreciate this.
Thank you for your Hellmans Mayonaise flavour crisps. The introduction of new flavours is always a difficult decision as I am sure you will appreciate that each individual wants their own particular favourite flavour to be available. As we all have different tastes and different ideas, the choices are endless! We will continue to bring our consumers excellent value and exceptional new products, as well as introducing new flavours and launching new promotions. You can be assured that our Marketing Team are continually looking to ‘tickle your tastebuds’ with exciting new ideas!
Once again, thank you for writing to us and for your interest in our company; your views are very important to us.
Yours sincerely
Pamela Crump (Mrs)
Consumer Care Advisor
The Review
Ladies and Gentlemen – introducing… Revenge of the form letter!
Well, almost. The line that puzzled us is this one: “Thank you for your Hellmans Mayonaise flavour crisps.” – we didn’t send them any crisps! Mayo crisps don’t even exist, hence us writing in the first place. Duh!
And yes, we know. They spelt “mayonnaise” wrong.
