The Brief
Does the Queen get many friendly letters? Probably not.
So we thought we’d brighten up her day with some comical banter…
The Loony Letter
Madam,
I just thought I’d write and say “Hi” – I thought that you don’t get many letters like this so maybe it’ll make a change, and might lighten your day a bit.
So what’s been new with you?
I’ll bet my life isn’t half as interesting as yours, you get to say “off with their head” and stuff like that – if I went around beheading people, the police might have something to say about it.
Is it really true that you can pardon any British citizen and stop them getting punished for any crime?
Anyway, I do hope you’re having a good day, and that you have a good Christmas season. Don’t eat too much Christmas pudding, I did last year and I felt ill all the way to New Years’ Day.
I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty’s humble and obedient servant,
Bill Bennett
The Reply
Dear Mr Bennett,
The Queen has asked me to write and thank you for your letter and for your message of good wishes for Christmas.
As I am sure you will realise, Her Majesty receives an overwhelming number of letters every day and, as a result, it is not possible for her to reply to each one personally.
The Queen was pleased to hear from you, however, and much appreciated your kind thought for her at this time.
I am to thank you once again for writing as you did.
Yours sincerely
Philippa Parr
Lady-in-Waiting
PS I’m enclosing some information that I thought you might like to have.
The Review
The Queen was “pleased to hear from us”, eh? Well why didn’t she write back herself? Oh well, seeing as we’ve pleased her now, maybe we’ll get away with a lighter punishment when our plans for world domination end up in us getting caught for treason or something. We also got sent a weird information sheet entitled “The Queen’s Working Day”.
