The Brief
We just have naturally Spock-like ears. OK, we don’t, but that’s what we told Marks and Spencer, just to see what they’d suggest.
The Loony Letter
Dear Marks and Spencer,
Ever since childhood, I have had abnormally pointy ears, like Mr Spock from Star Trek (some people call him Dr Spock, but any hard-core Star Trek fan will tell you his official character name was Mr Spock).
This has, of course, meant that I have had to bear the brunt of many jokes over the years, which has been very upsetting.
With this in mind, do you stock any products that can help me?
Regards,
Bill Bennett
The Reply
Dear Mr Bennett
Thank you for contacting us. I’m sorry you fee! so strongly about your ears, some people I know would find them ‘desirably like Mr Spock’s’ so don’t think of them as ‘abnormal’ but as one of your unique qualities.
With regards to some products I could recommend, I would be lying if I said a product could change the shape ‘of your ears, however we do sell a large range of moisturising creams and serums in our new ‘Revival’ range which could make them soft and moisturised and young looking.
To reduce ear ‘noticeability’ how about a pair of ear muffs? (Sorry but we don’t do plastic ears, just no demand these days). With the ski season upon us we have a varied range. If I was you I would embrace my ears and show them off with a lovely pair of diamante earrings, Failing that grow my hair long!
I hope these suggestions have been helpful. Many thanks again for getting in touch. Yours sincerely
Rebecca Dawson
Product Lead
Home & Beauty
The Review
Not sure if the reply was serious or if they knew we were joking and were just playing along, but still very funny. It’s a pity that they don’t sell plastic ears though – maybe this letter will convince them that there is a demand though. I can just imagine it being discussed in an M&S boardroom somewhere…
