Loony Letters

The Brief

A serious letter, from a serious vegetarian – with some added humour in true LoonyLetters.com style.

 

The Loony Letter

Dear Sirs,

I understand that you have a policy of “Have It Your Way”, where I, as the customer can request for my burger to be prepared to my exact specification.

I would like to know if this means that I can order a hamburger minus the beef-patty. Would this newly created beef-patty free hamburger be suitable for me as a vegetarian?

Also, does the “Have It Your Way” guarantee extend to allowing me to order a “hamburger, swapping the beef-patty for a veggieburger-patty”. I ask this because your website (www.burgerking.co.uk) states that it is OK to “swap one item for another” in a burger.

Finally, I thought you might like to know I think your fries taste better than McDonalds fries. McDonalds fries taste like shoelaces. On reflection, I’ve never tried eating shoelaces, so I’m not in a good place to make an unbiased, reliable comparison.

Yours,

Bill Bennett

 

The Reply

Dear Mr Bennett,

Thank you for writing to the Burger King Customer Careline.

Burger King has long been committed to giving customers a choice. In the tradition of “Have It Your Way”, we offer customers the ability to tailor their meals to suit their tastes and dietary requirements, for example by removing or adding extra condiments.

In relation to your question, the burger will be meat free however will be prepared alongside other meat products and their will be a risk of contamination. However our Veggie Burger has a separate cooking process endorsed by the vegetarian society and prepared separately from other meat products.

If I can be of any further assistance please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,

Joanne Mason
Customer Relations Co-ordinator

 

The Review

In the words of my school English teacher, “answer the ****ing question!”.

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